Syunik Zohrabyan
Miss Kim
English 10A (Per. 3)
7 October 2009
Arnold Schwarzenegger has played in many movies. One includes the most famous throughout his career, The Terminator. Now, he wants terminate his old title Terminator and change it into Governor by running for Governor of California. But in his campaign for the seat, 6 women accuse him of touching them in a sexual manner without their consent. He accepts that he has behaved badly and that he apologizes for his mistakes.
Sitting in front of the Press, he exclaims that he made mistakes. Arnold Schwarzenegger states, "Yes, I have behaved badly sometimes... I now recognize that I have offended people. And to those people that I have offended, I want to say to them, I am deeply sorry about that, and I apologize" (Schwarzenegger 4). By announcing his reasons, Arnold Schwarzenegger implies that he accepts his guilt. He wants to at least change, accept that what he has done in during his movie carrier was wrong. We all make mistakes in our lifetime. If we are scared to take chances, we do not make mistakes, and therefore, we do not learn from them.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has good ethos, or credibility. Not many people accept their mistakes either saying they didn't do it or saying it was in the past. He is a true person that learned from his mistakes and apologizes for his wrongdoing. Many people saw his point of view, that he made a mistake. His speech, ethos, and pathos earned him his chair. Now, as a wise man with many experiences, he is ruling California as a Governor.
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1. You have a MLA heading good job.
ReplyDelete2. Your title is also creative I like it.
3. Your background does sum up everything that should be said but it is only 2 sentences. Add more information or elongate it. Just add more information, like more details towards the alligations towards the terminator. Like why , where, how , what. You don't have to cover every question of where, why ,how, and what but thats the my point just add more details.
4.Im pretty sure your citation is correct so no problem there.But I would recommend setting up for the quote than to just like pop out with it like !BAM! Arnold said. " etc..." Just give it a little set up. Like a sentence or two. Your explanation of pathos is pretty vague. You don't explain how Arnold wants us to feel. You just barely touch that he is a changed man but thats only a very little part. You need to elaborate more on how he intends to make the audience feel andhow he watns the audience to feel towards him. And about the movies its like WTF??? Movies?? HUH???? Like where the heck did the movies come from. Explain what the movies were and if there was an incident at the movies explain it give some background for it. So it doesn't jump out at you and say what he did at the movies it was wrong it is very confusing. Just clarify that part.Add more sentences.
5.I liked your ethos. I thought it was a good argument to explain why Arnold is a trustworthy person. Just add 2 more sentences to give a little more goodness to your closing paragraph. Besides adding more sentences to it i liked it alot , it was a good last paragraph .
6. I noticed a spelling mistake in paragraph 2 and a grammer mistake in paragraph 3. You mispelled explaining and in the third paragraph you can take out the "of" in not many of people. Once you take the of out it will make sense. Those were the only 2 erros I saw but you might want to double check that.